BEFORE YoU SPILL TOO MUCH
May 24, 2014 at 12:07pm
BEFORE you SPILL TOO MUCH
Tomi just met this new girl in the grocery store, in seconds they click. You know how it is, when you meet some people and in a minute, you are like you ve known each other for decades.
What a great meet. She's so excited about this new friend. She looks all together lovely, she can't even hurt a fly, this is virtually everything Tomi hoped for in a friend. And to crown it all,this new friend displays such high level of humility. She's got it all together in character.
So what do you, the other girl asked.
Yea I worked in a construction company, am actually a top leading executive in there, oh mine, am the bosses favorite sister. Infact am so much enjoying God's grace right now like ave never seen before.
Really -- the other girl blushed.
Yes my sister, God is good, I just deposited a cheque of 5million as initial payment for my morgage plan, ill pay 2million every month for the next 25yrs and I can actually move into this house when am done with 60percent payment.
Oh, so what do you do,Tomi asked.
Yea, I work in a firm like that, we do management consulting.
Really!!!
My ex actually works for a management consulting company on the island. The stupid boy dumped me last month after a 3yrs relationship. Guys are bad.
Hmm it is well my sister, the other girl replied.
Yes o my sister, but I thank God everything is fine right now. My mum just remarried.
Are you serious, the other exclaimed.
Yes o, you know my father and mum are divorced, it was terrible, I lost my virginity when I was 13, and since then it's been hard to keep this thing together. You know how it is. Everything happened cos I came out of a broken home. But thank God, my mum found love again, even though I feel my is too old for this my sister.
Hmm na wa ooo.
Any ways, it's nice meeting you.
My name is Aisha.
Okay Aisha bye -- Tomi said.
I'll give you a shout out. So nice meeting you.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Before you judge, realize first that this happens to all of us. How quick we are to spill every detail of our lives in the presence of a total stranger. Meeting a new friend is always a big deal. It's an opportunity to explore the new realm of friendship. We quickly put people to levels and positions in our heart even before we know who they really are and what they are capable of both bad and good. We have forgotten that "everything does not appear the way it looks"
We spill everything, from our battles to our successes. From our rising to our falls -- we spill all to a total stranger.
The above illustration is a typical picture of most us including myself. How quick we are to make people part of our lives before we even really know who they are.
The truth is most times, we get carried away in the gloom, we meet people everyday, most of them who seems nice, everywhere, the grocery store, the clubs and bar pal ours, the tennis club, everywhere, and in seconds when we meet them we begin to spill,flaunting our wealth and impressing the other person.
Most times, you will discover that most people have actually spill every little and important details about their lives while the other person had not said anything tangible about his or her own live.
We must realize that life is harder and sensitive than this.
First.
1.Don't be emotional with people.
Most people that spill too much are emotional people. In a bid to encourage some times, you go ahead and spill your deepest secrets that will come hunt you later. See people as they are, don't be emotional to help anybody, get to know the root cause first. Emotional people talk too much and make hasty decisions.
2.Learn to know people too well before your Mouth runs.
Everybody is wearing a mask. The next man you are spilling those stuffs to might be suffering from serious inferiority complex. He's not interested in your success stories, the more you tell him anything the more he gets angry. He can't figure out why God is blessing you. Take a chill pill,learn to know who people really are before you spill.
3. Let the relationship Grow. Build trust and confident.
Everybody deserves to be trusted, but people should work for it. Don't trust people because the said they can be trusted, see that they can be trusted. The same way people say a lot of things they don't mean when they are angry is the same way people don't mean it when they say you can trust me. Let them show you through consistency and loyalty that they can be trusted. Believe the actions, not the words, watch over time, look for consistency -- remember people can't pretend for long.
4. Learn to SHUT UP.
Shutting up is crucial thing every man must learn to do. Shut up, don't talk,learn to keep quite. It's not by force to talk about yourself all the time. If you can't shut up,then talk about something else like football, a movie or something..always remember, the more you talk sometimes too much,the more you look stupid and serious minded individuals will not take you serious.
5.STOP IMMPRESSING
Stop forcing yourself to look good,its a sign of low self esteem. Research have proven to us that individuals that spills too much to impress other people are suffering from low self esteem issues learn to keep stuffs to yourself. Don't meet a person today and you are telling him or her everything about yourself, your family, your plans and so on. You might actually be fooling yourself and playing into the hands of the enemy unconsciously.
6. Don't let people Know too much ( especially people you don't trust)
The more people know about you,the more they feel like they are in charge and control. Don't give everybody that access, it's should be a controlled pass. They key to your life is hidden in your experience, your secret weapon and life 's realities. Always know where to draw the line. Everything that goes on in your house shouldn't be a point of discussion in your office between your friends. Know who is a friend and a foe or I'll rather say, know the foe that's appearing like a friend. Don't give people that access to your life, you might regret it later.
Stop Talking.
PERSONAL LESSON.
Sometimes at a time, I met a new friend, great guy. I was so emotional with everything, in weeks ave spilled all to him,ranging from family, Business and personal live. The funny thing, I have not even really know who this individual was. I was already imagining stuffs in my head, how we can conquer the world of Business together, make some money and be good. Yes ave got good intentions but alas how do I know that the young man really wants to conquer the world with me and not really me that he wants to conquer.
Sometimes we think that when we spill our secrets to people, it makes them trust us, we can actually be fooling our self and fueling our fire.
Then one day it dawned on me, that have raised expectations, spilled too much and gone beyond the Radar.
I discovered ave been emotional with this friendship. Ave actually raised this young man to be family, even introduced him to major people as family, and lo and behold he's just a friend.
We should learn to keep friends friends.
Then one night, it dawned on me that ave actually spilled too much,i barely know everything or anything about the other guy and he knows everything about me.
In a nutshell, I said to my self, hey man, you talk too much.
_______-----------------------
Conclusion.
Live life by wisdom. Don't raise hopes and expectations. Learn when to keep quite, don't be too fast to help or commit, look straight into people's intentions.
Know when to talk and who to say it to.
No matter how you take this --
Know few things.
Anybody can have a fine face, but you will be so surprised until you begin to see the other side.
Everybody is actually not happy for you. Know who you tell some deepest secrets.
Finally again.
Oga learn to shut up.
Tunde praise.
MD -- MH media Nigeria.
Tomi just met this new girl in the grocery store, in seconds they click. You know how it is, when you meet some people and in a minute, you are like you ve known each other for decades.
What a great meet. She's so excited about this new friend. She looks all together lovely, she can't even hurt a fly, this is virtually everything Tomi hoped for in a friend. And to crown it all,this new friend displays such high level of humility. She's got it all together in character.
So what do you, the other girl asked.
Yea I worked in a construction company, am actually a top leading executive in there, oh mine, am the bosses favorite sister. Infact am so much enjoying God's grace right now like ave never seen before.
Really -- the other girl blushed.
Yes my sister, God is good, I just deposited a cheque of 5million as initial payment for my morgage plan, ill pay 2million every month for the next 25yrs and I can actually move into this house when am done with 60percent payment.
Oh, so what do you do,Tomi asked.
Yea, I work in a firm like that, we do management consulting.
Really!!!
My ex actually works for a management consulting company on the island. The stupid boy dumped me last month after a 3yrs relationship. Guys are bad.
Hmm it is well my sister, the other girl replied.
Yes o my sister, but I thank God everything is fine right now. My mum just remarried.
Are you serious, the other exclaimed.
Yes o, you know my father and mum are divorced, it was terrible, I lost my virginity when I was 13, and since then it's been hard to keep this thing together. You know how it is. Everything happened cos I came out of a broken home. But thank God, my mum found love again, even though I feel my is too old for this my sister.
Hmm na wa ooo.
Any ways, it's nice meeting you.
My name is Aisha.
Okay Aisha bye -- Tomi said.
I'll give you a shout out. So nice meeting you.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Before you judge, realize first that this happens to all of us. How quick we are to spill every detail of our lives in the presence of a total stranger. Meeting a new friend is always a big deal. It's an opportunity to explore the new realm of friendship. We quickly put people to levels and positions in our heart even before we know who they really are and what they are capable of both bad and good. We have forgotten that "everything does not appear the way it looks"
We spill everything, from our battles to our successes. From our rising to our falls -- we spill all to a total stranger.
The above illustration is a typical picture of most us including myself. How quick we are to make people part of our lives before we even really know who they are.
The truth is most times, we get carried away in the gloom, we meet people everyday, most of them who seems nice, everywhere, the grocery store, the clubs and bar pal ours, the tennis club, everywhere, and in seconds when we meet them we begin to spill,flaunting our wealth and impressing the other person.
Most times, you will discover that most people have actually spill every little and important details about their lives while the other person had not said anything tangible about his or her own live.
We must realize that life is harder and sensitive than this.
First.
1.Don't be emotional with people.
Most people that spill too much are emotional people. In a bid to encourage some times, you go ahead and spill your deepest secrets that will come hunt you later. See people as they are, don't be emotional to help anybody, get to know the root cause first. Emotional people talk too much and make hasty decisions.
2.Learn to know people too well before your Mouth runs.
Everybody is wearing a mask. The next man you are spilling those stuffs to might be suffering from serious inferiority complex. He's not interested in your success stories, the more you tell him anything the more he gets angry. He can't figure out why God is blessing you. Take a chill pill,learn to know who people really are before you spill.
3. Let the relationship Grow. Build trust and confident.
Everybody deserves to be trusted, but people should work for it. Don't trust people because the said they can be trusted, see that they can be trusted. The same way people say a lot of things they don't mean when they are angry is the same way people don't mean it when they say you can trust me. Let them show you through consistency and loyalty that they can be trusted. Believe the actions, not the words, watch over time, look for consistency -- remember people can't pretend for long.
4. Learn to SHUT UP.
Shutting up is crucial thing every man must learn to do. Shut up, don't talk,learn to keep quite. It's not by force to talk about yourself all the time. If you can't shut up,then talk about something else like football, a movie or something..always remember, the more you talk sometimes too much,the more you look stupid and serious minded individuals will not take you serious.
5.STOP IMMPRESSING
Stop forcing yourself to look good,its a sign of low self esteem. Research have proven to us that individuals that spills too much to impress other people are suffering from low self esteem issues learn to keep stuffs to yourself. Don't meet a person today and you are telling him or her everything about yourself, your family, your plans and so on. You might actually be fooling yourself and playing into the hands of the enemy unconsciously.
6. Don't let people Know too much ( especially people you don't trust)
The more people know about you,the more they feel like they are in charge and control. Don't give everybody that access, it's should be a controlled pass. They key to your life is hidden in your experience, your secret weapon and life 's realities. Always know where to draw the line. Everything that goes on in your house shouldn't be a point of discussion in your office between your friends. Know who is a friend and a foe or I'll rather say, know the foe that's appearing like a friend. Don't give people that access to your life, you might regret it later.
Stop Talking.
PERSONAL LESSON.
Sometimes at a time, I met a new friend, great guy. I was so emotional with everything, in weeks ave spilled all to him,ranging from family, Business and personal live. The funny thing, I have not even really know who this individual was. I was already imagining stuffs in my head, how we can conquer the world of Business together, make some money and be good. Yes ave got good intentions but alas how do I know that the young man really wants to conquer the world with me and not really me that he wants to conquer.
Sometimes we think that when we spill our secrets to people, it makes them trust us, we can actually be fooling our self and fueling our fire.
Then one day it dawned on me, that have raised expectations, spilled too much and gone beyond the Radar.
I discovered ave been emotional with this friendship. Ave actually raised this young man to be family, even introduced him to major people as family, and lo and behold he's just a friend.
We should learn to keep friends friends.
Then one night, it dawned on me that ave actually spilled too much,i barely know everything or anything about the other guy and he knows everything about me.
In a nutshell, I said to my self, hey man, you talk too much.
_______-----------------------
Conclusion.
Live life by wisdom. Don't raise hopes and expectations. Learn when to keep quite, don't be too fast to help or commit, look straight into people's intentions.
Know when to talk and who to say it to.
No matter how you take this --
Know few things.
Anybody can have a fine face, but you will be so surprised until you begin to see the other side.
Everybody is actually not happy for you. Know who you tell some deepest secrets.
Finally again.
Oga learn to shut up.
Tunde praise.
MD -- MH media Nigeria.
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